Not just another week...

So on Thursday, it was pouring elephants and pianos and the ham gods were getting bored. Consequently, they decided to make me the butt of their ruses. I was jammin down Foothill at a very legal 40 mph when the light turned yellow. I slowly depressed the brake and realized all too late that I only had 20 feet left. I put more pressure on the pedal, the brakes locked, static friction went to piss, and I cleared the whole intersection slicker than Sasha Cohen on ice. In addition to earning perfect 10s for completely running a red light w/the speedometer reading zero, the car never came to a stop so I hit the accelerator well past the intersection.

In other news, I wasn't feeling well since Thursday morning, and have epidemiologically concluded it to be food poisoning possibly from the shrimp in my New Orleans Jambalaya from BJs (that's not libel). As a result, I went to bed at 2am on Saturday, and woke up 33 hours later at 11am, today - and had an IV in between cause I was losing sensation in my fingers (hypovolemia?). Anywho, I've had more shots of pepto than most people do in a lifetime and passed the problem onto LA Public Health. As for now, I'm ever so patiently waiting for whatever the illness to rid itself via emesis or excrement.

Conclusions of the week: replace all CalTrans/DOT traffic researchers with chemists well versed in particle movement, legalize commercial sex workers and fit them with digital chastity belts, offer catheter implants for IV drug users to decrease HIV transmission, and leave global warming be so we can utilize the increased humidity to harvest water. Oh, and careful what you put into your mouth; food too.

Schick Quattro

4 blades, 4 times the nicks and cuts:

In preparation of the next Superman role, I installed my pull up bar in my bathroom doorway today; 6 inches shy of the lintel, I can leave a forehead stamp every time I complete a proper pull up (dangling participle..yea yea...like my workouts). After watching An Inconvenient Truth, I decided to fill up my fuel tank with sugar to decrease emissions. Not only did cinnamon rolls not pop out of the exhaust pipe, but also I ran outta gas today. So for the second time ever since I got my car, I switched gasoline from 76 to Chevron (the car was delivered with Shell). The engine acceleration is immensely smoother, but I'm not sure if it yields the same performance. I emptied out my pint sized piggy bank - and boy o boy it sure holds its own. Piggy coughed up $53.16 in change; I rewarded it with a nickel. There's a proverb in Korean that roughly translates to: collect dust and you can make a mountain...but we're not talking about my room right now.

In less recent news, I spent half my Saturday lost deep in thought on how to efficiently procrastinate...but I decided to put that off and went on a 3.2 mile roundtrip hike with Jordan in the back mountains; specifically, the 700+ acre Deukmejian Wilderness Park. Fortunately for the mountain lions, they didn't encounter us...and rattlesnake season starts in April.

Libriverm

Every now and then, I love to find my self buried knee deep in books - the key to a great bonfire or the bane of those useless rain forests. Throughout the years, I've discovered that their utility has drastically increased. Feigning pedanticalness, hiding money (and certain publications), step stools, door stops, paper weights, make shift high chairs, killing insects, projectiles, and the list goes on (forgive my lack of parallelism). There's something I'm forgetting...oh yes...the great lost art of learning and leisurely reading. So here's the list: The Social Psychology of Consumer Behavior, The End of Faith, The Tipping Point, The End of Poverty, Game Theory, and of course - to add to the inexistent culinary repertoire - Rachael Ray's 365: No Repeats. A plethora of priceless knowledge for a low $114.68. For everything else, there's Mastercard. Stay tuned for reviews! :P