Sunday, April 29, 2007

Icon't believe it...

You can usually tell it's been busy and that the school year is winding down to an end when:













It's not so much the 298 icons that worry me, but more so what I will do when the remaining 14 spots fill up....

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

God's Final Witness

It's true that I'm agnostic, but I ward off bigotry with hexes, a trashcan lid, and my trusty sidekick, Fidel. Like most things in this world, God relies heavily on marketing (and proselytizing). Having requested "The Prophesied End-Time" last year, I got a letter announcing the release of "God's Final Witness." Get your free copy here.

"The book reveals the Seven Thunders of the Book of Revelation, which the apostle John was not allowed to record! It also gives more end-time prophecies that will sharply increase during the next two years. The year 2008 is prophesied as pivotal for the end-time. Ronald Weinland says that 2008 will mark the beginning of final events that will thrust the world into the great tribulation...which will usher in World War III, the death of billions, and on the last day of this great tribulation, the return of Jesus Christ [homie J.C.]."

I've made room for this copy on my shelf next to "The End of Faith," "The Brief for Buddhism," "The Quest for Enlightenment," a Nostradamus, some Dan Browns, and a row of C.S. Lewises in hopes of inciting a supernatural event in the corner of my room.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Letter to Jiffy Lube

I am thoroughly dissatisfied with the lack of quality service and concern for customer and employee health at Jiffy Lube. Subsequent to each visit I have made, there have been oil prints inside my car including on the driver's side door, the steering wheel, the door handles, and the dash. I have noticed that this is a result of the mechanic driving the car forward with the same bare hands that have changed the oil. This not only exposes myself to motor oil, but the mechanic as well. Used motor oil can present a threat to health through skin contact, skin absorption, inhalation, or ingestion, all of which can occur as a result of your service. Thus, I am disappointed with the lack of concern for occupational safety in addition to customer exposure. Research suggests that occupational exposure to motor oil increases the risk for arthritis (Sverdrup et al., 2005). By implementing the use of disposable gloves, employee exposure would be limited and disposal following oil change would reduce transference of oil into the interior of vehicles. I am not certain if this is already a policy and there is a lack of implementation and enforcement or simply if it has not come to the attention of your occupational health personnel. Regardless, I appreciate your time and consideration in this matter.


Sverdrup, B. et al. (2005) Association between occupational exposure to mineral oil and rheumatoid arthritis: results from the Swedish EIRA case-control study. Arthritis Research & Therapy. 7: R1296-R1303.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Seung Hui Cho

What is it with everyone and their backwards racism. Yes, it's more backwards and ignorant than a hillbilly. And why is everyone pointing fingers? Let me be puerile for a moment to humor you finger pointers. Everyone who knew this Seung Hui and blacklisted him a pariah in all their social circles is to blame, no? Taunt him and ostracize him to the edge of loneliness. Sure he was mentally waay off his rocker, but isn't there a common theme to many of these killings? Shove someone into solitude until he or she has nothing left to lose and he or she will be your nemesis, delivering a message of social acceptance which your kids don't know because of your ignorance. Actually, maybe it was God's fault. This ubiquitous and omnipotent fellow. What happens is intended to happen. Yes. But maybe it's Allah or Yaweh who hates America.

And this racism. Why are people demanding accountability from Koreans? Because of his race? Lets just send all Asians back to the Orient, right? Then by the same token, fie on you for all the racist crimes and genocides committed upon millions by your grandfathers and greatgrandfathers. And shame on those of you who escaped just to perpetuate racism. Then is it the dumb white folk who send all our men to kill and be killed? Not to mention, how young these soldiers are. And I'm sure the people they kill are nobody's child or parent - these people just grow from spores. No, that's just our dumb ass politicians. Not to mention the ignorance belying the fact that race is a social construction. Nevertheless, bringing up the race issue brings up deep histories. But I suppose everybody is OK with the Columbine incident, slavery, and stealing a whole country and calling it their own. Why do we need courts when we can lynch people? Why do we bother to call ourselves Americans? Next time a white guy goes and shoots a crowd, lets see the media go out and say, "the one-quarter Irish, one-eighth Norweigian, one-quarter German, one-quarter British, and one-eighth Swedish man walked into a building and open fired on two dozen people." Not gonna happen? Why? Because they're American or because they're white? Funny thing about social constructions. Wouldn't you know it, back in 1922, a Japanese-born man, Takao Ozawa applied for citizenship claiming that under the Naturalization Act, he was in fact a "white person." The historian Barbara Fields said that "Anyone who continues to believe in race as a physical attribute of individuals, despite the now commonplace disclaimers of biologists and geneticists, might as well also believe that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy are real, and that the earth stands still while the sun moves." I know...I hate to break it to you at such a saturnine moment, but yes, those three are fictional.

Was this shooting even racially motivated? Do you think it was retribution or karma? If such a thing does in fact exist, then we're all in for some serious shit. All the spirits of the massacred Jews, Serbs, Native Americans, Armenians, Africans, Christians, Muslims, Pakistanis, Afghans, Bosnians - and tragically, the list goes on and on and on - are gonna come and deliver some serious retribution that will make Auschwitz and Hiroshima look like a quinceaƱera. So if you want, drop to your knees and beg your favorite deity for forgiveness or whatever it is and find yourself a Noah to build you a Titanium ark loaded with wooden stakes, garlic, silver bullets and anything else that can bring you a false sense of security. He who is sinless shall cast the first stone, but we've all sinned now haven't we.

Sure, what this kid did was sad and despicable, but why perpetuate the hate. What good is a blind world?

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Holey Shirt

my tshirt's got a dozen holes
threadbare soft, the fabric cajoles
the more it's worn, the more they grow
when the winds blow, the holes billow

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Goose Down

i sleep with a flock of geese each night
you'd think it'd be noisy and quite a sight
but they've been stuffed inside my blanket
held together by a three hundred count knit.

so now you see the birds aren't here
they know the truth and wouldn't dare come near
now when i lay down to count the sheep
all i see is wool in a big soft heap.

Paper due, procrastinating some more...

over lunch i just over eated
now my stomach's pleated
open mouth the food i greeted
all the way down it bleated
now my hw's not completed
at my desk i am now seated
conquer my work or be defeated
no assistance will be needed
this poem's getting much too heated
so lemme be, shoo, i say beat it.

Happy Easter! :P

PTSD imminent

For the most part, I try to be flippant to lighten the mood and make things a bit more effervescent. That all went down the slippery slope this evening as I was jammin down the freeway on my way back home, when all of a sudden, a massive pickup truck about a hundred feet ahead completely sideswiped a sedan pulled over on the shoulder before swerving across all 4 lanes and plowing head on into the center divider. Seeing movement in the dirt next to the shoulder, I was afraid that the truck hit the person whose vehicle was already disabled. Having spent a past lifetime watching the worst car accidents on Youtube - including cars flipping over onto pedestrians - I feared the worst, nearly soiled my pants, pulled over and turned on my high beam and emergency lights before dialing 911. Thankfully, the woman wasn't in her car when it got hit. Then another lady pulled over to help and she stopped traffic so we could get to the truck. The man and his kid in the truck were fine, but the guy was crying saying he didn't have a license and that his son didn't want him to go to jail. The truck's axle snapped and it almost looked as if the man was trying to escape so the lady made him get out of the truck while I killed the ignition and put on the brakes. It seemed that everyone was in good health so I left the woman with my info and was on my way once more. In all this, all I ask is that you don't be a bystander.