maktoob, almost

i like to think that everything happens for a reason, considering that there are trillions of possibilities; and when you map out a tree with the different permutations, the number goes into infinity.

there's a reason for why you are where you are when you are. trillions of pieces react and settle into place paving the way for what comes next.

it's been a tough past year and i've dealt with deluge after deluge of frustration. to top it off, my new laptop completely crashed leaving me sans 4 months of data, which i failed to back up.

earlier today, i prematurely (conclusively, at the time) arrived at the decision that i'd like my moniker to be 'the steamroller.' i can be incredibly demanding, but fairly few - fewer than half a dozen - people have ever really seen me irate. i thought, for the sake of performance and accomplishment, why hold back?

i picked up my laptop 6 hours ago from the fedex office and have been working since.

some random thought triggered by spontaneous nerve firings led me to google something which led to something else which led me to a door: om mani padme hum.

and so here i am thinking that i need to not be a steamroller, to look deeper and seek enlightenment.

the universe is either trying to tell me something or i'm reading too far into this.