licking stamps

yep, i know some of you odd ones out there specifically request the minted stamps just so you can lick them. everyone else is using the stickers or online postage. but...what if you couldn't get on your postage server? yes ladies and gents, i couldn't login to my stamps.com account today. sacre bleu.

fortunately, there are still 20th century methods still available. but it got me thinking, what if an emp went off today. what would i do?

no electricity, no satellites, no laptops, no cell phones, no pdas, no fax, no email...ok, i hope i'm not making you hyperventilate by now. i guess the best approach would just be to say eff it, leave the dog in the oven and the kids in the pool, go into the garage, manually light the pilot light, fill the tub up with hot water, light 38 candles, grab a snorkel mask, wrap a book in several ziploc bags, and read underwater.

Black Swan

I don't really write these things, cause if you watch it, you watch it, if you don't, you don't.

BUT, Black Swan was an incredible production-side portrayal of an interpretation of Swan Lake with an actual character transformation of the main ingénue, Portman, who struggles with her darker side revealed by her foil, Kunis, in order to succeed as a ballerina playing the role of both swans. Black Swan reveals what it takes for Portman to overcome her oppression of absolute control and naivety as well as the control of her overbearing mother - who projects her own failure onto Portman - executing her character's role as a ballerina perfectly. This is one of the best produced movies I've seen as it seamlessly combines classical ballet and cinema with intense cinematography, pushing you to the edge of your seat.

For the guys who aren't sold, there's some serious girl-on-girl action between Kunis and Portman towards the end. If you're feeling uncouth enough, be a little flippant to break the intensity of the theater by just standing up in the middle of the scene, throw your hands up in the air, and shout "yesssss!"

silver linings

Christmas is around the corner and some of us have been absolute angels and have nothing to fret about. But for the rest of you, yep, it's been a little rough. You're surrounded by raging !@#$%&%$. Maybe you're customer of the month down at your local voodoo shop and you've run out of demented things to do the dolls. Or perhaps you've been making up profanities because there don't exist words harsh enough for those you hate or that @#$%monkey!@#face%$#&clown%@#$sucker who just cut you off the other day in the %$#%iest @#$% traffic. Well, anyway, getting coal might be the least of your worries. But in case it does dampen your holiday spirits, look at the upside.

1. Coal is great for grilling.

2. Coal generates 54% of electricity.

3. Coal gives sight to snowmen.

4. Burning coal will speed up global warming, turning the vastest and coldest of lands into little tropical islands. You like little tropical islands, don't you?

5. Coal is an allotrope of carbon. With enough pressure and heat, you'll have diamonds.

6. Coal is a commodity and it's trading at about $71.15 per short ton. The naughtier you are the more coal you get, the more coal you get the richer you are. And by simplified transitive property, the naughtier you are, the richer you'll be!

7. If you're in Utah, heck, you get a stocking full of the official state rock. Well, if you're in Utah, that should be punishment enough. kidding...

8. Silver linings of clouds are a result of fly ash from burning coal. No coal no ash, no ash no silver linings. Sorry, I made that up.

9. If you're a Jew, you got nothing to worry about.

So buck up, it's ok to be a little naughty. Merry Hanukkah!

freethinkers

paula cole, i'll tell ya where the heck all the cowboys have gone. but first, tell me where all the freethinkers have gone?

we're such boxed up folk. and the farther we run from it, we just run into another box labeled hipsters. this past week, i was at the corner of jefferson and mcclintock with about a dozen and a half kids. college kids. the light was green going my way and there was no protected left, but the crosswalk said stop. not a car in sight. i crossed. i looked over my shoulder to see if anyone would follow suit. they stared back in disbelief. freshmen.

did we all go to college to become conformists?

inception: the subconscious ninja of marketing

to date, i have pumped roughly 3,320 gallons of 76 gas. roughly put in 58,240 nonacademic searches into google. so what kind of subconscious ninja would it take to break me away from brand loyalty and habit?

blizzcon transcendentalism

there are few things that are as transcendental as music. everyone can enjoy a good beat. it's a universal language without words, infinitely more popular and understood than esperanto by any measure. it invokes nationalism, sorrow, joy, and when you're in the club, it brings out the moves. there is music that will complement any type of mood. you can listen to erik satie while enjoying a gallery full of degas or bump up some metallica when you hit the dunes on that atv. alternatively, you could be doing absolutely nothing but watching stallone blast the burmese militia away to the first blood theme or watch leo and kate make hanky panky to 'my heart will go on.'

nothing to boost your aromatherapy like some soothing music. nothing to max out your emo like dashboard confessionals. sit for a minute and think of the mood you're in and what you want to listen to. change up your tuneskies and see how your mood changes. put on your favorite songs and think of what memories they bring up.

ready, set,

my goals for this year were discovering and honing my passions and, in spirit of the recession, downsizing - really trimming the fat. i've done a great job of the former, and a half decent job of the latter, but it seems my work load has increased. projects seem to multiply quicker than mrsa on a petri dish so it's high time to implement the brilliant up or out of the cravath system. 6 monthsish per venture to reach the next stage or out. my weakness is persistence, the last man standing. so here's me drawing hampers to throw the towel in.