Black Swan

I don't really write these things, cause if you watch it, you watch it, if you don't, you don't.

BUT, Black Swan was an incredible production-side portrayal of an interpretation of Swan Lake with an actual character transformation of the main ingénue, Portman, who struggles with her darker side revealed by her foil, Kunis, in order to succeed as a ballerina playing the role of both swans. Black Swan reveals what it takes for Portman to overcome her oppression of absolute control and naivety as well as the control of her overbearing mother - who projects her own failure onto Portman - executing her character's role as a ballerina perfectly. This is one of the best produced movies I've seen as it seamlessly combines classical ballet and cinema with intense cinematography, pushing you to the edge of your seat.

For the guys who aren't sold, there's some serious girl-on-girl action between Kunis and Portman towards the end. If you're feeling uncouth enough, be a little flippant to break the intensity of the theater by just standing up in the middle of the scene, throw your hands up in the air, and shout "yesssss!"

silver linings

Christmas is around the corner and some of us have been absolute angels and have nothing to fret about. But for the rest of you, yep, it's been a little rough. You're surrounded by raging !@#$%&%$. Maybe you're customer of the month down at your local voodoo shop and you've run out of demented things to do the dolls. Or perhaps you've been making up profanities because there don't exist words harsh enough for those you hate or that @#$%monkey!@#face%$#&clown%@#$sucker who just cut you off the other day in the %$#%iest @#$% traffic. Well, anyway, getting coal might be the least of your worries. But in case it does dampen your holiday spirits, look at the upside.

1. Coal is great for grilling.

2. Coal generates 54% of electricity.

3. Coal gives sight to snowmen.

4. Burning coal will speed up global warming, turning the vastest and coldest of lands into little tropical islands. You like little tropical islands, don't you?

5. Coal is an allotrope of carbon. With enough pressure and heat, you'll have diamonds.

6. Coal is a commodity and it's trading at about $71.15 per short ton. The naughtier you are the more coal you get, the more coal you get the richer you are. And by simplified transitive property, the naughtier you are, the richer you'll be!

7. If you're in Utah, heck, you get a stocking full of the official state rock. Well, if you're in Utah, that should be punishment enough. kidding...

8. Silver linings of clouds are a result of fly ash from burning coal. No coal no ash, no ash no silver linings. Sorry, I made that up.

9. If you're a Jew, you got nothing to worry about.

So buck up, it's ok to be a little naughty. Merry Hanukkah!